Teach teens how to manage their own money.
It’s so important for kids to learn how to manage their own money from a young age. I truly believe if we teach them to do this while they are young, they will have much less money problems when they get older. This is the reason I give my teens an allowance.
They begin receiving an allowance at the age of 13, but are also required to pay for most of their own clothes and a few other expenses. This is a teaching tool.
They could come to me and say, “Will you buy me this $50 jeans?” and I would respond, “Those are to expensive, let’s find something cheaper.”
OR! When they receive their own allowance the conversation would go like this.
Child would say, “Mom, I really want to buy these $50 jeans, but that would take all of my money. Do you think I could find them cheaper somewhere else?”
This way the teenager is learning to make these important decisions themselves. The money still comes from my pocket either way, I’m just giving it to them to allow them to make their own choices.
So, this afternoon I had a fun shopping trip with my 13 year old daughter. I happen to love shopping (yep, frugal AND a shopping lover!) and I love quality time with my kids, so it was a GREAT day!
However, shopping trips with my daughter tend to bring some stress (for me) and anxiety (for her). Read more below for what happened today….
My daughter has inherited my frugal ways…..to the extreme. She hates to spend money, it actually gives her a little bit of anxiety to even consider spending any money…..and I get stressed because there are times when she NEEDS to spend her money.
Spending money is part of living…..I mean….we all need to wear clothes, right?!?!?. It’s important for kids to learn that spending isn’t the problem, over spending is the problem.
Today’s Shopping Trip
So, today we were on a mission. My daughter had a list, and she wanted to buy it all….without spending a lot of money.
I, on the other hand, wanted her to buy everything on the list without feeling any anxiety or guilt.
Our list included: 2 pairs of shorts, 1 pair of track shoes, a dress, and a swimsuit.
It was QUITE the tall order for my daughter the saver, but we were determined to make it happen!
I let her make the decisions about where to go (she chose the discount store Ross and the second hand store Runway Fashion), what to buy, and how much to spend.
She thought carefully about each decision, she calculated and recalculated how much she was spending, she said no to many things and yes to a few things. I was a proud mama as I stood by and watched!
A few times she looked at me for advice, and I would always reply with the same questions; “Do you NEED it? Do you LOVE it? Will you WEAR it often? Is it WORTH the money?” As I walked her through these questions she was able to feel confident in her decisions.
The Perfect Shoes
Three hours later we ended up the day at the mall sipping on Jamba Juice and feeling proud to have found everything on the list all at the right price (yay!).
While at the mall we noticed a store having a big going out of business sale. Ignoring my advice about spending triggers, we decided to pop in for a quick browse. This is where my daughter excitedly proclaimed that she had found “the perfect shoes”…..and I’ll admit, they were pretty darn cute!
The price was right, the fit was perfect, and she was smitten…..but they weren’t on her list…..she didn’t need them….and she was feeling a lot of anxiety and guilt about buying them.
My sweet daughter worried that she shouldn’t make this purchase, she didn’t want to waste her money and spend unwisely.
I assured her that she has always been wise with her money, she saves a large sum of her allowance each month, she always pays her tithing, she still has plenty of money in her “spending” jar…..and it is OK to spend a little bit of money on something that just makes you happy!
So. She bought the shoes! You better believe this frugal-tight-wad-mom was so proud of her for making that decision!
And….guess what, she has been on cloud 9 all day because of it! The shoes haven’t left her feet, she’s been showing them to everyone in the family and has been pairing them with different outfits.
In Conclusion
THIS is why we give teens allowance.
Today, I kept my mouth shut and let my daughter take control of her shopping experience. She made the decision to only buy used or discounted clothes. It was up to her to decide what was “splurge” worthy and what wasn’t. She learned to budget, she learned to say no, and she learned to say yes.
She was able to come home with less money in her pocket, but also a feeling of accomplishment and confidence.
This is a girl who is preparing for the adult world of spending.
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Do you give your teens allowance????
our youngest is 14 and we just opened up his bank account were his allowance goes into. he loves second hand and a good deal, he is not quiet yet at the stage of thinking purchases over 100x, we ask that our kids once they are mid teens with part time jobs to buy their own things.
Our other 3 19 23 and 24 have that anxiety you mentioned, and are cheap cheap cheap, cheaper then mama. Our oldest is the worst he will not buy new clothes unless he has run the ones he has to the ground, literally shoes with holes in them that one lol.
Haha! I can relate!!
& our oldest, a university graduate with no debt on his own and making a comfortable living is the cheapest one I mentioned lol.
What an encouragement to see your efforts in teaching her to be wise with money paying off. I have been working on the same with my kids and hope it will work out particularly because it already seems like my girls enjoy shopping a lot more than me.
Thank you!!